Gazza from Grong Grong

'Banjo' Paterson is certainly on my mental list of poets whose work I admire but I didn't think I would get round to him yet.

Today, however, I came across a gem of poetic political satire in the comments section following an article in the Guardian on-line newspaper.  It was written by someone calling himself Gazza from Grong-Grong and hijacks the format of the famous Banjo Paterson poem, Clancy of the Overflow.

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better

knowledge sent addressed to “Santa and his helpers at the Pole”,

but an answer came directed in a manner unexpected

for I think the same was written with a thumbnail dipped in coal.

‘Twas an underling who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:

“Santa’s given up on Christmas and he’s living on the dole!”

“So I can’t see him returning while the countryside is burning

and the climate change deniers leave you stranded up the creek,

for the catastrophic failure of a nation like Australia

is symbolic of an attitude that’s negligent and weak

when, despite your many troubles, ScoMo blathers about bubbles,

and that means your future prospects are exceptionally bleak.”

“Therefore Christmas has been ended, all the merriment suspended,

for the madness means there’s nothing left to cheer,

so forget your turkey dinners as there can’t be any winners

when the sun has all but vanished in a smoke-filled atmosphere,

and the Coalition dithers while its so-called leader slithers 

through excuses, just preoccupied with saving his career.”

“For there’s just no way of telling an old ad-man to stop selling,

and he’ll prattle on regardless all day long,

spouting she’ll-be-right-mate phrases as the country goes to blazes,

and refusing to admit he might be wrong

while, from climate through to banking, your economy is tanking

from the sand dunes of Karratha to the streets of Wollongong.”

"So Lenore, with all the questions that arise here, and suggestions

that the Shouty-Man might learn from this and try to do some good,

I am very pessimistic, for it’s just not realistic

to expect a transformation in his leadership that would

give him cause to stop and ponder, so he’ll just go on and squander

all our futures in the service of his coal-fired brotherhood."

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